Sunday, April 26, 2009
Tonight I played a cd for B that we used to play in her nursery every single night from the time she was a few weeks old until she was about 3. It made her cry to hear it. When I asked her why she was crying she said "Because it makes me remember." My daughter is 6 and already feels nostalgia in her heart. Tonight my own heart breaks for the days of her infancy. But as I sat on the edge of her bed and ran my fingers through her tangled hair as she fell into sleep, I believe I saw just a glimpse on her sleeping face of that tiny baby I used to rock in my arms so many years ago. It will be sad to see every last trace of baby erased from her face as the years pass. I can't believe it all happened so fast. Lately I've fallen into amazement at how blessed I am. Sitting with B tonight, smelling her scent of grass and sweat and chocolate milk, I finally feel like I'm becoming the mother God is calling me to be. It's becoming inherent and necessary to the vibrancy of my being. It's in my skin now--it no longer feels like it's something I need to 'put on.' I am in awe of my daughter. I am thankful for God's answer to prayer. And tonight I am so grateful.