It's astonishing how quickly things turn. For weeks I've been a wreck of emotion, ravaged by feelings of inadequacy concerning my job, my skills as a parent and my tornadic evolution into a gym ratt. Though the psychiatrics of it all remain, the outlook is considerably brighter than before. As I type this I'm sitting in the middle of my sunny yard on a neon pink lounge chair with a stack of back-dated Domino Mags on the grass next to me. In this setting alone, how could one not feel totally at peace? Then factor in the delusional happiness that 2 consecutive 'good' days of mothering brings, plus the fact that my neighbors and best friends are hitting the new parenting thing out of the park with their amazing attitudes and great outlook. My tide turned today. When before it was just washing up shit on my shore (cranky shit, shit with bad attitudes), now it's bringing only blue waters and golden sand...well, maybe that's a bit of a metaphoric overstatement. Anyway, I'm thankful for the reprieve. As I'm sure D is. He's ever patient and loving, never forsakes me because of my bad attitude. He's my champion. But it can't be easy living with Sra. Sadface...Cpt. Crankypants? Mrs. Mean. All of which I've been recently.
I guess the first step to crawling out of my pit was realizing I was in one. So here I stand on the precipice. Feeling pretty good about it all, actually. It's life, right? Down, then up, then down again. There goes the ice cream man. Up again!