I like to pretend that I'm very strong, and I like to play at being emotionally stable. So stable, in fact, that I often tout my emotional superiority when I'm feeling particularly invulnerable. But recently I've felt all my self-made facades crumbling. God has brought me to Himself in ways that, while being incredibly stripping, have been inconceivably gentle.
Growing up in the Catholic church and parochial schools had ingrained in me a sense of God that was so...untouchable and superhuman that the idea that He could deal with me in any way other than sternly and harshly was unimaginable. It seems like I've been waiting my whole life for that proverbial other shoe. "My life can't be this good. When is God going to step in and teach me a lesson?" Marvelously enough, He has. And it's not the thrashing of a lifetime that I've been expecting. I'm not saying that's not still coming, but what I'm saying...I guess what I really want you to know is that God loves us enough to deal with us in ways that don't destroy us, but still bring us to our knees-more in humble recognition of his power than anything else. And the really wonderful thing is the more He reveals his love and power, the more I find myself in need of Him.
2 comments:
beatuiful.
Ooo I grew up with those feelings of fear too. It's that unhealthy fear of His impending wrath and not the kind that is the beginning of knowledge. God is doing a work...celebrate that He is active and living!
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